As I’m writing this, I should mention all is not well in my life. I’m in serious trouble at my job, in the middle of a puzzling relationship that was really bothering me and worrying me all the time… and yet I know my peace does not rely on my outward circumstances. In Matthew 11, Jesus invites all who are weary to come find rest. And rest doesn’t mean the absence of work. As my father and pastor clearly illustrated to me today, a yoke (the type of yoke used on farm animals and such) mean a partnership. It means, Christ is right next to you, leading you and guiding you when you don’t know what to do. He is partnering in life with you. His yoke is easy. His burden is light… not because the work is less, but because He is carrying you with Him. My current problems won’t go away anymore than I could reverse past regrets… but I can walk through them with my God to lean on every step of the way. And that alone gives me hope. I can find rest in the middle of trying circumstances because my peace is found in nothing else but the fact that my God is bigger than me and is in control.

I ended up a 5 day fast from all forms of media today (especially social networking) which I know happens to be where I waste insane amounts of time. And several things have become increasingly clear to me. One is simply the unnecessary loads of time spent on things that don’t produce good results and make me a better person. I will be spending much less time… wasting time. When I’m consistently in my bible (the rare few times) and listening to godly influences in my life, I love the person I am through the power of Christ. When I start to find myself out of those influences, my life always, without fail, starts to go south quick. It can take just a single day for me to start degenerating into the old me, without God guiding my path.

Finding time consistently every day to make myself quiet, and to be still enough to allow God to speak into my life is one of the greatest things I am learning to do. And when I’m spending time with my creator it shows. My compassion for people comes out. I acquire humility that I would never have otherwise.

I’m now serving at my church as an intern. I’ve started to step in and lead worship infrequently at church and I’m running what we call chapel leadership (essentially the worship band and media) at our school. One of the things I asked God about was whether he wanted me to pursue ministry in life. Even starting the internship, I really wasn’t aware of where I was headed or what I wanted to do. But more and more, I feel the call of ministry tugging at my heart. And now, getting a chance to lead these students at our small christian school and maybe teach them something… it’s an opportunity I am so grateful for. I find myself wondering if I’m up to the task and excited to get started all at the same time.

So where am I headed exactly? I’m not sure. I still might go get some technology degree and do something I really enjoy. I might pursue credentials with the Assemblies of God like my father did. I might decide to go into ministry at a completely different church, in a completely different city. I’m not going to limit God. Because I know, that it has nothing to do with me. If any of this success rests on my soldiers, it will all fail. I will fall flat on my face every time I try. But I know if I stop and sincerely ask God for help-it really is that simple-and take his advice whether I see it as the most logical option or not, I know he will take care of me and I will accomplish things I never thought possible. I want to dream big. I want to dream so big, I could not possibly accomplish in a million years what I set out to do without divine intervention. I want to see what the heck God can do. Care to find out with me?